Decidedly NOT SWEET!

So after a morning of grocery shopping, some cleaning & cooking (pizza dough prep, home made whole wheat tortillas and power balls) I decided to treat myself and take a nap.  Sometimes nothing is better than a Saturday afternoon nap!  A lazy afternoon followed by a night in ... my plans included cooking dinner and then updating my new / old recipe book with those that I'm definitely making again.  (I say new / old because it was actually a wonderful wedding gift from an Aunt of my husband - she gathered recipes from both sides of family and friends and put them all together in book for us.  Even before I started this journey it was my favorite of all the gifts we'd gotten because I knew the effort involved.  Now I'm having great fun with it!)  Anyway ... so I throw in the first load of laundry and I've still got plenty of time before I'll be hungry for dinner so I go to sit on the couch with my pen and recipe book ...

That's when it hit me.  A smell so nasty I almost threw up.  Now I will preface that I have what my husband calls "super powers" in terms of smell.  I've always been highly in tune to any smell and I love the good ones - scented candles, perfumes, lotions, flowers ... but the bad ones?  If one of the dogs has gone in the house I know & can follow my nose to where it is.   If something has gone bad in the fridge - same thing.  Useful right?   Problem is that the bad smells can also hit me so hard that they literally make me nauseous.  This was one of THOSE smells.

What was it?  My husband.  

Now from almost 15 years together I know that what he eats is always responsible for these situations.   The main culprits: 

1. Bangers & Mash (Irish style dish that he was banned from eating ever again in 2001. 
2. Garlic (I ban him at least once a month from touching it but he loves it so sneaks it.  Thankfully because he knows if he partakes too much he'll reek it's snuck in moderation and therefore rarely a big problem anymore.)
3. Indian food (because he always orders something ridiculously spicy - who knows which spice is the one doing it though.) 

But he hasn't had any of these lately that I'm aware of ... 

"OH MY GOD WHAT DID YOU EAT?!"   ....   he laughs. 

"SERIOUSLY!  Are you sick or something?!" ...  "No ... but I have pooped several times today."  

"WHAT?!  Uh ... I've got to get out of here!" I grab my computer as I gag.  I've got to get it unplugged from behind the couch so this takes some effort and as I'm trying not to hurl he's giggling like a little boy at me.  

"It's your fault" he says ... as I run upstairs I realize what has happened.  Remember when I said that there weren't the naughty foods for him to get into because I'm not buying them anymore?   Well... turns out he has been eating anyway ...

1. Homemade granola - he had 1/3 container left yesterday and now = gone
2. Vegetable fajita leftovers & whole wheat tortillas from this last week = gone
3. The head of fresh garlic I'd bought that I've been using slowly in dishes that call for it = 3 cloves that I didn't use gone
4. Old fashioned rolled oats ... come to think of it I watched him do this but it didn't hit me ... oatmeal for dinner last night ... oatmeal for breakfast this morning and yep - a pan in the sink he had oatmeal AGAIN for lunch!  

The amount of fiber he has had in the last 48 hours has to be off the charts!   His body and GI system may be happy right now due to this fiber induced 'cleanse' but his wife is NOT happy!  

Well ... his laundry ain't getting done tonight because the laundry room is off the basement 'man room' where he's been all afternoon creating the hazard zone.  Come to think of it - I have a great idea for my next gift for him!  Wall art for his man room: 

The joys of marriage ...