Life Reminds Me ...

Time has slipped away from me.  I'm not quite sure where the summer has gone and I feel like I haven't accomplished what I had wanted to.  Last winter as I looked forward to the sun and warmth I thought this summer would be the one where I'd finally make it to healthy.  After catching myself procrastinating once again on exercise I realize that I'm actually restless.  I am acutely aware of the fact that I've been wasting time.  Life sends you messages when you need them.  Some subtle, some not so subtle.  Recently the messages coming my way are not subtle in the slightest.  I'm taking my health & life for granted.

One of the most loved figures in my life.  One who has known me since I was in my mom's belly.  Someone who would be one of the very first people my mom called to share that I was going to exist ... her longest and dearest friend.  Someone who has forever loved me with no strings, no expectations, no conditions.   This amazing woman has ALS.  I went to visit her over this past weekend and as I watched her two things stood out.  She was struggling ... but she was also smiling.  Those dimples of hers that I've known since before I can even remember were just as adorable, just as warm.  She radiates strength even at her most fragile.  I don't think about the fact that I can walk.  That I can grasp and lift a fork.  That I can chew and swallow without an issue.  I'm not what one would call a religious person in a public sense.  I haven't been to Temple in a very long time.  In Judaism there are blessings for everything.  They all begin Barukh ata Adonai, which means Blessed are You Lord ... The Asher Yatzar is one of these and it says:

"Blessed are You, LORD, our God, Master of the universe, who formed mankind in wisdom, and created mankind in wisdom, and created in him all manner of openings and cavities.  It is manifest and known before the throne of your glory that if any one of them is ruptured or were blocked, it would be impossible to survive and stand before You.  Blessed are You LORD, who heals all flesh and is wonderful in His acts." 

I think I finally have awakened to appreciate the real meaning of this blessing.  The key now is to not forget it for even one moment.  In January I made the decision to change my diet.  I've now made a decision to make a drastic change in the other area that I've known for a long time is a problem.  I signed up for a 10 week intensive exercise program.  It's definitely not going to be easy.  It is going to push me and pain me.  In my heart I'm not only doing it for me but for my loved one.  I'll know that the effort is dedicated to her.  I hope that God will see it as my way of saying the blessing.  I begin September 16th ...